The very first episode of Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club aired on New Year’s Day — and the boss demonstrated a very odd approach to recruitment.

The actress was scarcely seen in the pilot, except to deliver her no-nonsense approach to running her new exclusive resort on the Greek island of Mykonos.

‘I won’t have any drama at my clubs,’ she insisted of her potential employee hosts.

The show then introduced the nine ridiculously-attractive twenty-something year olds, all of whom are single, some of whom are bisexual, many of whom had restricted upbringings, all of whom are ‘not afraid to speak their minds’, and all of whom will be housed together for the duration of the show.

The first episode saw the actress describe her vision: to recruit the best VIP hosts in the US to make the ambassadors for the Lohan Brand.

Fans were also introduced to her partner and creative director Panos, who isn’t afraid to speak his mind about the Mean Girls star.

What could possibly go wrong? The show then introduced the nine ridiculously-attractive twenty-something year olds, all of whom are single, some of whom are bisexual, many of whom had restricted upbringings, all of whom are ‘not afraid to speak their minds’, and all of whom will be housed together for the duration of the show

‘Sometimes she’s difficult,’ he admits amid his gushing.  ‘She’s very strict, and very opinionated.’

Then followed the nine employees: Brent, Gabi, Jonitta, Mike, Aristotle, Sara, Jules, May, and Billy, via lots and lots of slow mo posing on the beach.

Each introduced their backstory, sprinkled with a healthy sprinkling of worship for their new boss.

‘When I was a little girl i wanted to be like her, now i work for her,’ one admission rings.

‘Icon’ is used at least once, while another host retells how Lindsey was forced to flee to Greece because of unrelenting paparazzi.

Most of the first hour-long episode was dedicated to introducing the nine characters, although a sneak peak ahead for each showed there was plenty of the drama Lindsay is so determined to avoid.

Cracks: Most of the first hour-long episode was dedicated to introducing the nine characters, although a sneak peak ahead for each showed there was plenty of the drama Lindsay is so determined to avoid

Research: Flashes of the hosts pasts seemed to include plenty of drama too